Friendzone

          F R I E N D Z O N E, there's one word ten letters but it's full of confused feelings.

this type of relationship often occurs between two people who care about each other but it's nothing more than friends. maybe we can called it "more than friends, less than lovers". And in this time i wanna tell you about friendzone according to my last experience.

          To be really honest the first time i known him, there's no something special that i've seen from him. I just known him as my classsmate nothing more. we just acted like friends, we smile each other and sometimes we talk to each other. I started add him on Line and started the conversation because at that time i'm so curious how could he lost his phone, after i got the answer we finished our conversation. Until one day, we are in the same group in the xxx subject, and we started our conversation again on Line. He asked about the assignment and i gave him an explaination, that's all.

          I'm forget how it was exactly happened, but the important one is we started to become close friends. we used to have conversation every single day from morning till night. Even he had called me on Line at the midnight and you know what? it had been around 3 hours. Yes it was our first phone and absolutely it's my first long conversation that i've ever felt. We talked about anything, we talked about our classmates, we talked about his ex-girlfriend, we talked about my ex-crush and whatsoever.

          Clearly at that time i still have no feelings into him. We are still friends. And yeah our conversation still occurs every single day. Until i just realized that it' was kinda weird because we started fighting, argue even we got jealous for no reasons. For God's sake, really i can't explain what i felt. There's something difference in my heart. Called me overrated or whatever you named it, obviously those words can't describe how happy i am being around him. He's kinda nice guy, he cares about me, and yeah he's kinda sweet.

          We have commitment to be honest each other. So whenever we feel so blue, angry or not in a good mood, we always asked each other "there's something wrong?" "do you wanna tell me what happen to you?" "just tell me, and i'll listen to you", and yeah it was always work on us. i'm so glad that he trusted me to be his good listener. He could tell me anything that he wanted to, even it's about his privacy. One day he felt so bad because he just fought with his dad, suddenly he Line me "Ir, can you call me?" i replied "okay wait a minute, anyway what's wrong?" he said "i wanna tell you something" then i called him and he told me what was actually happened to him. That's not the first time he asked me to listening to his problem, because he once told me about his another problem back then. But it was the first time i heard he cried while he tells me his problem. If at that time i was beside him, i just wanna hug him, and said "don't be sad, everything's gonna be alright and stop blaming yourself", sadly i can't do it.

          But exactly one month we have been close to each other, he has changed, literally everything has changed. He left me without give me an explanation, he stopped Line me, and he stopped cares about me. It's crazy how fast the time changes anything. He acted like stranger to me, he pretend like never happened between us (well, maybe he was right). How painful it is! even though i knew we are just friends and nothing more, at least can he just told me the reasons he left?

          I know it's MY FAULT, i'm not supposed to take it seriously. I'm not supposed to being baper person and put so much hope on him. And one of the embarrassing moment is when i thought he cared about me, unfortunately he did the same way to another girls. he used to treated me like i'm his, and well he also did it to another girls. And there's no most painful thing than when i thought that i'm so mean to him, but the truth has spoken "no, i am not."

          Okay i should've get over it and letting him go from my life. Moreover it's not my first time leaving by people that so mean to me, so don't worry i can face it by myself. Let's pretend like never happened between us. No offense, if someday "you" read this and you realize that all i 've written is about you, then enjoy it!